Football. And I'm talking the American kind.

Before you read this, this post is going to be opinionated.  If you like football, you might as well start writing the hate comments now (which, please, I welcome that.  I don't get very many comments on a regular basis, and I would love hear your side of the story)

So I sit here and listen to my new favorite thing: Young the Giant.  I'm stuck on writing my book (I need to start doing research and this is a problem) and I really don't have anything else to do.  What does that mean?  It's blogging time!  I'm going to talk about football.  If you're like me, your thinking: "Yuuuhhck.  What a waste of my life.  Totes clicking off of this lame blog." And I'm like, Fo-sho.  Do it.  I understand, but . . . wait.  I actually . . . to tell the truth . . . stay, would you?

Football.  This is a sport that I hate.  I don't like to use that word a whole lot.  This doesn't mean that I'm above hating stuff.  I'm human, after all.  I just know that it's wrong to be so harsh.  Most of the time I don't really hate what I said I hate.  I just hate the idea of it.  See, what if I had a best friend and he played football?  (I can honestly tell you I don't, but this is an analogy.)  He's the nicest guy you'll ever meet.  He treats people right and he's what a christian is supposed to be.  He's also really good at football and doesn't let the game blow up his head like an atomic bomb.  So, yes I would root for him.  I would probably watch him play all the time, and really get into the sport.  But only because he would be playing.  That's the point.

PEOPLE are the reason I've come to hate this game so much.  Have you ever heard that idiotic song The Boys of Fall?  I'm sorry if I've offended you by telling you that I HATE HATE HATE that song.  Although, I've probably already insulted you by telling you I hate football.  God knows my town would murder me if they knew I don't like football.  It's like being a communist governor.  Truth be told, not very many people know that much about me, so they just assume I'm like everyone else in that town.  Gah, it's like we're the Borg or something.  Well anyway, let me tell you why I hate that song.  One stanza of lines goes like this:  "In little towns like mine that's all they got, Newspaper clippings fill the coffee shops, The old men will always think they know it all, Young girls will dream of the boys of fall."

Okay.  First line: "In little towns like mine that's all they got."  This is true.  The way it's said here, it makes it sound like it's something of glory that we can appreciate.  We don't have astronauts going up into space near us, we don't have movie stars parading down red carpets just a block over.  We don't have much.  But if you look at it the way I do, in a town like that, football is the only thing that's important to anyone.  Sometimes it's more important than going to church even though Technically we play this game with prayers to God.  Don't get me wrong, people should be talking to God about their breakfast.  Have a relationship with God.  But people act sometimes like playing football is God's work.  No.  It's not.  Loving you're neighbor is God's work.  And I know very dang well that there are jerks on that football team that are such big hotshots.  They are definitely not spreading the word of God.  There's so much more we could focus on.  LIKE SAVING THE ECOSYSTEM. (But nooo... they all don't believe that Global Warming is real . . .)

Second line: "Newspaper clippings fill the coffee shops."  Ha! If we even had a coffee shop in town.  But you get the idea.  These football players are all viewed by the community as Nice Young Men with Futures.  They're labeled as faithful because this is a faithful community and anyone who's really good a football surely is the best person.  You know what?  They are so full of themselves!  They all drink just as much as the bad kids.  But the community had labeled the bad kids as bad because they're unproductive and they aren't active in the community.  They just can't seem to see that maybe they just don't like to play sports.  I never did.  This same policy goes for any sport.  A girl with a bad home life that hangs out with the bad kids and drinks and smokes gets pregnant.  Everyone tut-tuts.  It was expected.  That's what her kind does.  They turn their noses the other way.  Oh, but they won't judge her.  Not openly, that is.  A girl who is really good at basketball get's pregnant.  It doesn't matter what the circumstances are or whether she has a good home life.  She's popular.  Not just in school but in the community as well.  She will get sympathy.  They'll tut-tut for the first few months, but once her belly starts to show, everyone will get excited for her new baby.  Her mistake will be accepted like it wasn't a mistake at all.

Don't get me wrong.  You need to show love to everyone no matter what they've ever done.  It wasn't wrong of them to be nice to the basketball player because she got pregnant.  But because they didn't acknowledge her doing anything wrong she's probably going to have another kid in a few years with someone else.  And how did they treat the first girl?  She's not a part of their social class, so they ignored her.

But back to football. Third line: "Young girls will dream of the boys of fall." This I think, is the worst line.  As we've previously stated, football is glorified to be something much bigger than it really needs to be.  What this is saying is the only thing that matters is a sport that can only be played by boys.  What that is saying is that only boys could do something this important.  And what can girls do?  All girls are capable of doing is swooning.  That's right, girls.  You've been reduced to a fried haired, hollow, make-up caked idiot that can do nothing more than drool over boys who play a stupid sport and think they're dominant.  They'll never treat their girlfriends right, but that won't matter because they're gods, aren't they?  And as females, it's our job to worship them, yes?  So ladies, let's get to work and start building our shrines in your respecting school colors.  It's bowing time.