Wednesday, January 22, 2014


Do you ever get scared of yourself?

Just a minute ago I was walking from my bedroom to the living room.  I had thought I'd heard my dad's voice and as I walked into the hall my brain conjured up this strange, inhuman looking mustached person who looks nothing like my dad at all and it said "What if this guy popped up around the corner?"  It then proceeded to subconsciously convince me that I would see this weird cartoon-y figure and I had a mini-heart attack.  That all happened in around three seconds.

Most of the time this crazy wacko brain stuff happens to me when I'm in between waking and sleeping.  Like I'm convinced that I have to stay asleep without a real reason why.  My brain just tells me that it's imperative not to get out of that heavy coma-like state that keeps you asleep.

Or, like when I'm really really zoned out I'll start daydreaming about something like trying to pick an object up.  I try to do it and then the thing is out of my hands halfway after I've picked it up and it's on the floor again.  Like my brain is taunting me or something.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm crazy and maybe I'm just desperate for a blogging topic.

Do you ever dream you're somewhere and then you half-wake up and you get really confused?  I hate those dreams that are so convincing you think that they're real life.  Or those memories you have that are really dreams?  Those are pretty freaky too.  I just think our minds are really complex things.

I can't remember my dreams from last night, but I do remember this dream I had when I was four or five.  The dream starts and I find myself stuck in the ground, like a nail and there are these bull dozes closing in on me about to run me over.  My mom is with me, similarly stuck in the ground and I'm screaming for my dad and my sister.  For help, or just because I don't know where they are I'm not sure, but that had to be the single most scariest nightmare I have ever had in my life.

Nowadays I find my dreams are my subconscious brain telling me stories.  I guess that's what I get for being a writer. (:

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